List of Cranky Kong quotes
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These are the quotes said by Cranky Kong in his various appearances.
Donkey Kong Country
- "Take a look inside your banana cave. You're in for a big surprise!" (normal mode)
- "Oh! So you think you are read to face the Kremling hordes, do you? You will need more than that flashy new costume to get you through this time. DK is taking a well-earned rest after clearing up your mess. Don't expect any help from me either. I'm far too old to tag along with you. I wish you luck. You'll need it. Oh yes, next time you swap costumes, have a look in the mirror before leaving the shop. You look like a banana bird." (hero mode)
Entering his Cabin
- "Donkey boy! Where's Diddy?"
- "Donkey, you young whippersnapper! Long time no see!"
- "Donkey boy! It seems like years since we last met!"
- "It's about time you visited your frail, old Grandpa!"
- "Hey! Can you spare your old pappy a banana?"
- "And what have you brought for your old Grandpa?"
- "Well, you've amazed your old Grandpa by getting this far!"
- "So, you've finally come to get some game play advice from your old Grandpa!"
- "Diddy boy! Where's Donks?"
- "Diddy, you young pup! Boy, I can't believe how much you've grown."
- "Well, well! I didn't expect to see YOU today!"
- "You're doing pretty good to get this far..."
- "So you found me, did ya?! What do you want?!"
- "Who told you I was here? Was it that obnoxious Funky Kong?"
- "Well, well! Look what the cat dragged in!"
- "Haven't seen you in this neck of the woods in a long time!"
- "What do you want, eh? I'm a busy ape, I am!"
- "Ahh! At last! Somebody to chat with!"
- "You're lucky you caught me, I was just heading out."
- "Have you brought back those bananas I loaned you?"
- "Last time I saw you, you were wearing diapers!"
- "Come over here and let me have a look at you!"
- "Well looky what we have here!"
- "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?!"
- "A whole mob of Kremlings just passed through!"
- "This here's rhino country!"
- "Hey boy! Can you believe the shack they stuck me in?!"
- "Hey boy! Did you fetch me my paper?!"
- "You big ape! I could hear you coming from miles away!"
- "It's hard to find peace and quiet any more, with you around!"
- "Sure, come on over! Beats talking to myself..."
- "Ahh! It sorta takes me back, seeing you here!"
- "Boy, this place has been busy lately! What with all the Kremlings, and now you!"
- "Sure looks like I'm Mr. Popular today, yes siree!"
- "Sure beats a visit from Mrs. Kong! How can I help you?"
- "Fancy running into you two way out here!"
- "I ain't got nothing left, so don't even ask."
- "I just gave my last barrel to that orangutan buddy of yours."
- "What in tarnation do you want?"
- "More freeloaders?!"
- "Well I ain't got nothin' for ya, so scram!"
- "Betcha won't get much further than this..."
- "Someone told me that if you hold down the Y Button, you can run!" (about run)
- "I read in the manual that you can jump farther if you hold down the run button." (about run and jump)
- "If you roll attack a baddie, your speed increases when you hit the next one!" (about roll)
- "I hear if you roll off a platform, and press the jump button, you'll do a super jump." (about the roll jump)
- "Look out for disguised holes on the ground and jump on them from a great height" (about item cache in ground)
- "I was told that if you bounce on eight consecutive baddies, you'll get an extra life." (about defeat enemies for extra life)
- "If you find any bananas, you can be sure the Kremlings have been there before you!" (about the bananas)
- "Look out for banana arrows, they'll point the way! Of course, I wouldn't need them!" (about the banana arrows)
- "Grab any extra life balloons quickly, before they float away!" (about the extra life ballons)
- "If you find any barrels with DK on them, smash them open! Your buddy might be inside!" (about DK Barrel)
- "If you see a barrel with stars on it, break it open! It's a mid point marker." (about Barrel Stars)
- "I reckon that Rambi the rhino could break open just about any hidden entrance." (about Rambi)
- "I heard that Expresso the ostrich can't jump on baddies. I guess his legs are too thin." (about Expresso)
- "Funky can send you anywhere you've already been on the island, in a flash!" (about Funky Kong)
- "Find Candy and she can save your game for you!" (about Candy Kong)
- "In Jungle Hijinxs, stick to the tree tops to earn extra lives." (Jungle Hijinxs)
- "You can find the fun in Ropey Rampage between a rock and a hard place!" (Ropey Rampage)
- "The crafty Croctopus corners his crock of collectibles in Coral Capers." (Coral Capers)
- ""A leap of faith is all it takes to find Winky in Barrel Cannon Canyon." (Barrel Cannon Canyon)
- "Avoid Mine Cart Carnage and jump early to get the extra life." (Mine Cart Carnage)
- "Burn rubber for the golden rhino in Bouncy Bonanza." (Bouncy Bonanza)
- "The bananas in Stop & Go Station will put you right!" (Stop & Go Station)
- "Rolling some rubber will put you on the right road in Millstone Mayhem!" (Millstone Mayhem)
- "A single banana is all you need for a bonus in Tree Top Town." (Tree Top Town)
- "Get on down with the bananas and get ready to party in Temple Tempest!" (Temple Tempest)
- "In Orang-utan Gang, follow the last barrel down to discover a barrel of laughs!" (Orang-utan Gang)
- "On Snow Barrel Blast, sometimes down will not take you out; it may help you go forward." (Snow Barrel Blast)
- "Bouncing the Bouncer will slide you to success during Slipslide Ride!" (Slipslide Ride)
- "In Ice Age Alley, birds of a feather flock together to get your wings." (Ice Age Alley)
- "On Croctopus Chase, there's a right way and a wrong way to get past the barrels." (Croctopus Chase)
- "The TNT gives you a couple of real wall to wall blasts in Torchlight Trouble." (Torchlight Trouble)
- "For you Trick Track Trekkers, the Gnawty twins know a secret!" (Trick Track Trek)
- "For Elevator Antics, you'll have to climb higher than a hornet's nest!" (Elevator Antics)
- "Once you're in the Poison Pond, the right way is not the only way to get the point." (Poison Pond)
- "In Mine Cart Madness, you're just 3 bounces away from bonus land." (Mine Cart Madness)
- "Blackout Basement could give you a sinking feeling, but you'll end up sky high!" (Blackout Basement)
- "You're in Tanked Up Trouble if you're all gassed up and don't know where to go!" (Tanked Up Trouble)
- "Let Diddy hold out the TNT in Manic Mincers." (Manic Mincers)
- "Take enough ropes and you'll amaze yourself in the Misty Mine." (Misty Mine)
- "The Loopy Lights vulture's barrel will blow you away." (Loopy Lights)
- "The Platform Perils vulture knows it's sometimes better to come down to earth." (Plataform Perils)
- "Gnawty the beaver can be rolled or jumped on!" (Gnawty)
- "Zingers sport spikes on their backs! You can't jump on them unless you're riding Winky" (Zinger)
- "You can roll over Slippa, or just squash him with a jump attack!" (Slippa)
- "Klaptrap's teeth are too big to use the roll attack! You need to jump on him!" (Klaptrap)
- "Klump's hard hat protects him against your jump attack. You'll have to roll him!" (Klump)
- "Krusha is the toughest Kremling -- only a barrel will knock him out!" (Krusha)
- "Keep your eyes peeled for Rambi the rhino! He can crash into almost any hidden room." (Rambi)
- "Rambi the rhino can help you, but he'll want to charge for it!" (Rambi)
- "Enguarde the swordfish will help you get straight to the point!" (Enguarde)
- "He can't really fly, but Expresso the ostrich can flutter about." (Expresso)
- "Floating barrels will break as soon as you touch them."
- "Steel ringed barrels break only when they hit a wall."
- "Steel kegs are indestructible, follow them and they'll mow down all baddies in their path!"
- "Hold the run button down and jump on baddies to gain extra spring to your leaps!"
- "Bounce on the fixed tires to hurdle obstacles and reach bonuses!"
- "Push the free tires to areas where they will help you find hidden bonus levels."
- "You kids today! You don't have any respect for your elders!"
- "We never had movement like this when I was in video games!"
- "All this fun can't be good for you!"
- "I bet they wasted half the memory already, just on this section alone!"
- "They can't keep this level of graphics up for much longer!"
- "We used to be lucky if we got three shades of gray, let alone any real colors!"
- "We used to have to survive with a two frame walk!"
- "Sometimes our sprites used to change size for no apparent reason!"
- "We never had any of this fancy 3-D stuff! Oh no, we had to survive on what we had!"
- "And what little we did have, we were happy with!"
- "Well, I've never seen anything like it!"
- "Enjoy this demo while you can, it can't last much longer!"
- "That's right, 4 shades of gray, in a 2x2 character block, that's all we had..."
- "I can't play this game, the colors are all too rich for my poor old eyes!"
- "Why, even the bananas have more frames and colors than I had in the entire game!"
- "Look!...look at this!...as I rock, my beard swings! Waste of frames in my opinion!"
- "Aye! That was when we had real game play, that was!"
- "And this was developed with the latest state-of-the-art 3D workthingys, was it?"
- "The trouble with you kids, is that you're all too soft!"
- "The old games were far harder when I was a young 'un!"
- "We used to play for hours on a single screen game and think we were lucky, and we were!"
- "You wouldn't last two minutes in a real game!"
- "I could get through D.K.Country with only one life, easy!"
- "I'm talking about when games were games!"
- "3 lives and 3 continues, that's all we had!"
- "Games never looked like this when I was a lad!"
- "And we were much better off in those days as well."
- "Bet you thought this was 64-bit eh, boy?!"
- "I've got more game play in my little finger than you've got in this whole game!"
- "Y'know what they say, all graphics and no game play!"
- "32 meg..? That would be more than 30 games in my day, and they'd be great games, too!"
- "Back in my days, we used to have real game play..."
- "You know what's even worse? When you get to the end, and then have to start again!"
- "You wouldn't know a good game if you were in it!"
- "A single joystick, and a single button is all that's needed to make good game play!"
- "I wouldn't be seen dead in a game like this one!"
- "I say you can't better the graphics, sounds and playability of a Game & Watch!"
- "So you're back again! I knew a punk kid like you couldn't do the job..."
- "That was quick. You didn't leave me enough time to think of any other stupid comments!"
- "I don't know why I'm telling you all this, you didn't listen last time!"
- "You have to do better than that!"
- "You only just left!"
- "Back again?! That was quick!"
- "Came back to the master for more advice, hunh?!"
- "Still got you beat, hunh?!"
- "Yup! Don't make game players like they used to!"
- "Okay, I'll do the level for you!... Naw!.. Only kidding!"
- "I don't know how you dare show your face in here again, after that pitiful performance!"
Leaving the cabin
- "That's all folks! There's nothing more I can tell you."
- "You know all you need to know, for now."
- "Come back and see me sometime, I'll be here!"
- "I don't know any more than that at the moment."
- "That's all there is to it. Piece of cake if you ask me."
- "So long, suckers! Try not to hurt yourself out there!"
- "That's all the advice old Cranky here can give you."
- "I'm getting tired, I gotta take me a nap!"
- "You practically know more than I do, now. Well... almost."
- "I don't have anything else to tell you right now, maybe later."
- "I could sit here and rock all day, especially if you two leave me alone!"
- "I gotta go now, I'll see you guys later... if you're lucky!"
- "Well, that's about the size of it!"
- "Say, is that the time? I gotta fly."
- "I could tell you yarns about the old days all day long!"
- "Y'all come back now, hear?!"
- "If you get stuck, come back and see me."
- "Can't say I expect to see you again, but you might get lucky, I guess."
- "It's been nice talking to you guys."
- "Eh sonny? Speak up, I can't hear you!"
- "Donkey Kong, I've seen enough! That tie-- turn it off!"
- "This stereo sound is making my tired old ears bleed! Turn it down before you go!"
- "All this game play is too much for me."
- "I'm back to my cabin for a nap!"
- "Remember the original Donkey Kong? Think I'll go play that... see you later!"
- "There's too many baddies around for my liking..."
- "I'm off to lie down!"
- "I'd ask you in, but they didn't have any memory left to display the cabin interior!"
- "Now, off you go!! See if you can't finish this ridiculous quest without my help!"
- "Make sure to shut the gate on your way out. I didn't raise you in a barn!"
- "See ya later, alligator! Ha! Ha!"
- "After a while, crocodile!"
- "I can't believe it. You trampled all over Gnawty. Give me that giant banana. I will take care of it for you. Come on, get going. You can't rest yet." (Kongo Jungle)
- "You sure showed that stupid bird who's boss. Good, that's another banana back. Now go down to Vine Valley and find the others" (Monkey Mines)
- "Well, you told him to buzz off. You looked in trouble for a while. Come on, hand it over. I will take that banana for you. Make sure you wrap up warm. I have got a feeling you'll need to." (Vine Valley)
- "Are my old eyes playing tricks? I'm sure I have seen that beaver before. Where could it have been? Grab the banana and give to me. Head down the mountain to the factory." (Gorilla Glacier)
- "Oh dear! Call that tin can a boss? Surely K. Rool can come up with better than that, maybe a bucket or perhaps a really nasty fridge! Come on, you are nearly there now. Just Chimp Caverns to go." (Kremkroc Industries, Inc.)
- "It's just like the old days, reusing the boss, changing it's color and pretending it is completely new. That's it, only K. Rool left to beat, Come on, lets go and kick his scaly butt!" (Chimp Caverns)
- "Well done Donkey my boy! Who'd have thought a young whippersnapper like you could've beaten that bunch of no good Kremlings? You've made an old man proud!" (one player)
- "Congratulations Red/Yellow Team! You whupped those crafty crocodiles and are first past the post! Whatever happened to the Yellow/Red Team? I guess those guys need more practice!" (1st place in two player contest)
- "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Yellow/Red Team! What happened to you two? The Red/Yellow Team finished ages ago! Too good for you were they, huh?" (last place in two player contest)
- "Go and look in your hoard, I think you'll be in for a surprise!"
- "If I had been playing, I'd have found everything! I'm sure there must be some bonus rooms you haven't found!" (incomplete)
- "What a player you are, Donkey my lad! You've beaten the Kremlings, and found absolutely everything! You're nearly as good as I used to be!" (complete)
- "Is it my turn yet?"
- "Surely it's me next!"
- "I did this using one life! And I took less than an hour!"
- "This sea air is doing me no good at all!"
- "I'm too old for this. See ya!"
- "Call that an ending? Looks like a cheap stunt setting up the story for the sequel!"
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
- "Well, well... What do you think you're doing siting around all day? They won't get much of a game out of this, will they? I thought you were supposed to be a big star!"
- "I didn't! Whisking off maidens and chucking barrels, seven days a week I was! That's how I got where I am today, you know. Hard word. There was none of this lazin' around on a beach!"
- "Hah! He's off somewhere with that girlfriend of his. But still, I can see when I'm not wanted..."
- "Look, a note!"
- "Give me a chance! I'm not as quick as I used to be. It says:"
- "Well, I suppose we'd better give him the bananas. Hadn't we?"
- "Arrrrgh! This story's even worse that Donkey Kong Country's. They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel this time! Have you any ideas how to get DK back?"
- "I'm sure as spit not gonna do it, not that I'm past my prime, mind you. I could still do a better job than the rest of you put together. But I wouldn't be seen dead in a game that scrolls and has bonus levels and end bosses!"
- "We will meet you there. Come and see us if you need any help!"
Entering his museum
- "Say hello to your old grandpappy Cranky. I'm back by popular demand to offer my wealth of gameplay wisdom for this unnecessary sequel." (first meeting)
- "What sort of name is Dixie anyway? In my day, you were lucky to have a name at all!"
- "I'd sort out old K. Rool for you real quick, but I'd be spoiling the limited fun you're trying to get out of this shoddy product!"
- "I don't even get two screens to stand in! I'm sure K. Rool will have two, so why can't I? Pah!"
- "Look at all this junk in here! Treat my home like a trash can they do! No respect for their elders, that's the trouble..."
- "Haven't sold a single thing in weeks! If this junk was out of one of my games, the customers would be begging to get in!"
- "Where's Expresso? A clumsy spider and a fat parrot, is that the best they can think of?"
- "Girl heroes in video games, pah. I can't believe it! The main character should be really muscle-bound and carry a gun, not twirl their hair round!"
- "Need more help do we? Pah! If tell you much more, I might as wall play the game for you!"
- "Don't you ever knock? I know you're desperate for help, but remember your manners next time!"
- "I knew it! You've come to beg for my help again, haven't you! Well, I'm not going to tell you anything this time!"
- "Come on in! Have yourselves a look 'round and buy some of this trash, why don't you?"
- "I'll box your ears if you don't listen this time!"
- "Back so soon? I thought you'd complete at least another level before you came crying to me!"
- "See, you're back again! Evebody like old Cranky. I bet my ugly, old wife doesn't get half as many visits!"
- "You think your fancy graphics and sound will work again! I think not. You'll be lucky to sell 10 copies this time!"
- "Have you been to see the other members of the Kong family? They're not as useful as me of course, but they might be able to help."
- "You're looking a bit fat there, kid! Look at me, I'm at my physical peak. I could show you a thing or two!"
- "Oh, it's you again. I thought it might be a real video game hero..."
- "K. Rool is gonna whup your hides this time, whippersnappers! I'd better take over before you embarrass yourselves!"
- "For just five bucks, you can buy my memoirs. What a dynamic and exciting life I've led. You'll be lucky to star in half as many games as I been."
- "Shouldn't Dixie just be a token female princess waiting to be rescued, instead of a main character?"
- "Team up? I've never heard such rubbish in my life! When I played, I was on my own. I had no fancy backup!"
- "I hate being stuck in this shabby barrel. I want to sit outside like last time!"
- "Give up now before the kids realize you're not as popular as Donkey Kong was!"
- "Just 'cos DKC sold few lousy copies, I have to be included in another ludicrous adventure! It's the last time, I tell you!"
- "I'd have collected far more tokens than that by now! What's wrong, got holes in your pockets?"
- "Diddy, I thought you were a cheap character in DKC, but Dixie's even worse! It should be me on my own, that it should!"
- "Surprise, surprise. Well if it isn't the so called video game heroes! I hope I'm getting paid for all my help!"
- "Howdy, young 'uns! Gather round and I'll give you some much needed advice!"
- "You spend as much time in here as I do!"
- "Look! They've even taken my chair from me. It's disgusting how they treat old video game heroes these days..."
- "After my starring role in DKC, I thought I'd be the main character this time, not stuck in this gloomy shed!"
- "I bet this here Killer Instinct game is rubbish too! It hasn't got me in it, so it must be!"
- "I was hoping for more frames this time, but no! Don't let old Cranky do anything. Just give him some third rate stand frames!"
- "I don't know why I help you so much. You don't appreciate me!"
- "Well, well, well, if it isn't our trainee hero! I didn't expect you to find this place, sonny. You must have got luck. Now that you're here, I'd better tell you about it. This here's the Kremling's 'LOST WORLD', and that big crocodile head in the middle is where you need to get to if you're going to finish this silly game properly. But to get there, you have to beat Kaptain K. Rool and complete all the bonus levels as well, a task I'm sure is well beyond a whippersnapper like you! I don't know why I'm doing this, but here are some ridiculous cheap hints for this world, which I'm sure you'll be needing as well."" (Lost World)
- "O.K., which of these would you like?"
- "Take a look at this lot!"
- "Here's a fraction of my enviable knowledge!"
- "Go ahead, test my amazing knowledge!"
- "I can recommend the really expensive ones, actually."
- "Enough talk, let's see your tokens!"
- "Pick a subject! I know everything about this game!"
- "I reckon you should spend all your tokens here."
- "Gaze in awe, as you appreciate my knowledge!"
- "Feast yer eyes on my menu!"
- "What do you want this time?"
- "This stuff is cheap at half the price!"
- "Here's what I've got to offer."
Not enough coins
- "You must be joking! You'll never have enough for that!"
- "It's not a charity! I want more tokens for this!"
- "Find some more tokens, you useless monkey!"
- "You'll have to play better to buy that, sonny!"
- "You'd better stick to the free ones, whippersnapper."
- "Not enough? Well, get lost then."
- "Hey! If you ain't got any tokens, you can buzz off!"
- "That's not enough. I've got ney frames to pay for y'know!"
- "Keep yer grubby hands off if you can't afford it!"
- "My knowledge doesn't come that cheap!"
- "You ain't got enough tokens for that, cheapskate!"
- "I'm not giving this stuff away you know!"
- "That one is too good for you."
Leaving the Monkey Museum
- "That's enough help for now. I need some rest."
- "Now, go and sort out those stupid crocodiles!"
- "I gotta go now, my wife is visiting any moment!"
- "Yawn! I'm getting tired. Go away and don't disturb me again!"
- "Now, buzz off and let me work on my new game design."
- "Guess I'd better tidy this miserable dump up a bit."
- "It should be real easy for you now!"
- "I'm off to spend my tokens!"
- "When you need more advice, which you will, I might help again, if you're lucky."
- "Don't be surprised if I'm gone next time. I'll be in a real game!"
- "Time for a couple of games on this here Killer Instinct."
- "Even you can finish this silly game now!"
- "Remember, I'm the most useful of the Kongs, and the cheapest!"
- "Don't come back without a sackful of tokens!"
- "Well done! You sure showed that feathered freak. I can't wait to see how you get on in Crocodile Cauldron. Go on then, go! What are you waiting for!" (Gangplank Galleon)
- "You sure took you time beating that rusty old sword. Let's get out of here. My fur is about to catch alight. Now head for swamp Krem Quay." (Crocodile Cauldron)
- "This all seem too easy. I hope you aren't cheating! You have to keep moving. DK is depending on you! Off you go to Krazy Kremland." (Krem Quay)
- "Where does K. Rool keep getting these giant Zingers from? Come on, let's go to Gloomy Gulch. You don't have time to play on the shooting gallery now!" (Krazy Kremland)
- "Oh no, not the same boss, but as a ghost! Ooh! I was so scared. You are doing really well; only K. Rool's Keep to get past." (Gloomy Gulch)
- "Well done! I sure didn't expect that. Go to K. Rool's airship and rescue DK." (K. Rool's Keep)
- "Good work, but we have to rust bucket before it crashes." (The Flying Krock)
- "I can't believe my eyes! Once again you have beaten that lizard-faced freak. DK is back with us, and the world is safe once again." (Lost World)
- "I knew you'd do it, Diddy m'boy, but how could you fail having learned all you know from old Cranky here?" Well done, Diddy, m'boy! Who'd have known you'd be able to rescue that lazy grandson of mine and dump K. Rool in his own filthy swamp/island? Not bad for a novice! Of course, if I'd have been playing, I'd have made sure that K. Rool never tries a cheap trick like this again! I reckon I'd found all the Kremkoins and completed the so called 'Lost World'. Oh well, can't expect everything from our first game, can we? One more thing, how many of my special Video Game Hero Coins did you find? A real player, such as myself, would have found plent I'm sure. Let's see how well you did, eh?"
- "Well, I've got a second screen, and it's about time too. Now, shut up everyone while I read the eagarly awaited results of my prestigious Video Game Hero Awards.... Hmmm... Not too good at finding my coins, are you, sonny? You might be a hero, but you've got a lot of catching up to do, yes siree! If you want to look at your limited progress on this screen, press the left and right buttons while you are on any of the map screens. Now buzz off and see if you can find some more of my coins, which I very much doubt you will."
- "Hey! What are you waiting for? There's no secret stuff hidden here, sonny! There is, however, a couple of special options on the game selection screen though I'm sure they're of little use. To find these silly options, press down lots of times, but if I were you, I wouldn't bother. Now, go ahead and switch that cartridge off, so I could get some sleep! I reckon I've earned it!" (after credits)
- "N-n-nice going k-kid! I-I reckon only a t-t-true video g-game hero would h-have f-f-finished it all! L-let's get out of t-this miserable d-dump, and g-get back t-t-to D-Donkey K-K-Kong Island!"
- "Back to see me again, eh, sonny? Let's see if you've improved your hero status, shall we? I'm not afraid to admit it, Diddy m'boy. Even I'm wrong occasionally. You're as big a hero as they come. You must take after me and Donkey. Well Done!"
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!
Entering the tent
- "So you've reached the bonus game then, have you? It's not a simple game of questions and answers this time though! Now you've got to beat yours truly if you want to win any prizes!" (first meeting)
- "I hope you like red, 'cause that's what your face is going to be soon!"
- "If a fool like you can beat me, I'll eat my hat!"
- "Heh heh heh, this is going to be like taking candy from a baby."
- "At last - I'm out of retirement! Now I'll make a monkey out of you!"
- "You chimps are chumps, I can't believe you'd even try to beat me!"
- "Here's my strategy guide for you..... Give it up now and save your monkey!"
- "If a little girl or a dopy kid can beat me, I'll jang up my gloves!"
- "Come and have a go if you think you're good enough."
- "Next time you fancy a lesson, come and see ME"
- "I think you need a little practice. Oooh, about a year should do it."
- "Was that the best you could do? You need to eat more bananas."
- "I could beat you with both of my arms ties behind my back!"
- "Hey, don't take it personally kid - I'n the greatest, you're a chump!"
- "You were no contest - go and challenge Wrinkly and her friends!"
- "Look at this! It's my eight ball air juggle! A real killer, isn't it?"
- "Oh, so you managed a fluke victory, huh? I'd like to see you try again!"
- "It's not fair! Some of your targets were twice the size of mine!"
- "You only had to blow on your targets for them to fall over!"
- "Did you see my last shot? It went clean through the target. Honest!!!"
- "Hey hey, you cheeky monkey! Have this as a bonus prize!"
- "Get out of my tent now, you cheeky ape!! Wait till I tell your parents."
- "You fraudster! I'm off to consult my lawyers about this!"
- "A draw, eh? It's the closest you'll ever get to winning a game!!"
- "Get some tokens and try again, you knucklehead."
- "You appreciate, of course, the real terms I was the actual winner!"
- "Well, that was a waste of 2 coins, wasn't it? Go on - have another game!"
- "Welcome to my training area! I'm fed up with you young whippersnappers having all the fun. So I'm improving my skills for my next big adventure in Cranky Kong Country! You can help me train if you like, but I'm no charity - I need to raise cash to fund my new project, so I'm going to charge you for the privilege of training with a master. As it's early in the game, I'll let you train with me for one of those stupid silver coins. The ones with those freaky bears' heads on." (first meeting)
- "So you want to see me in action one more time, do you?" (visiting)
- "You are fools to miss this opportunity! I am the master! Oh...' bye then." (denied)
- "Help me deflect these spike critters with my trusty shield. Use the to move my shield into the correct blocking position. You'll get a reward based on your performance!" (accepted)
- "Good luck!" (accepted)
- "You did well, but there's still some room for improvement!" (lose)
- "Oh dear. That didn't go too well, did it? You'll have to do better if you expect me to cough up the prizes!" (lose)
- "Excellent skills! You managed to deflect all those spiky critters." (win)
- "You have complete the master challenge! Take this bird. I'm sure it will come in useful... somehow." (complete)
- "Well done, young Kongs. That overgrown barrel will make good firewood. Off you go, then. You need to head for Kremwood Forest." (Lake Orangatanga)
- "Very good, Kongs. No more web-spinning fun for that eight-legged freak. I'm sure Funky will put that patch to good use. Go see him now!" (Kremwood Forest)
- "Still, it's another step closer to rescuing Diddy." (Cotton-Top Cove)
- "They sure don't make boss battles like they used to. One attack pattern is enough for any gamer..." (Mekanos)
- "I think you'd better go back and see Funky. I'm sure he can help you out." (two skies)
- "Very good, Kongs. You sure gave him a frosty reception, heh heh. You're doing really well, so don't stop now - off you go!" (K3)
- "There you go, Kongs, another obstacle out of the way. There are far too many boss fights in games nowardays... I'm just glad I've retired. That must be it now. I've been following you around for hours." (Razor Ridge)
- "Well done, Kongs. Enguarde came in handy for tackling that strange sea creature. On to the next world! Will this game ever end?" (Pacifica)
Banana Bird's cave
- "So you've found one of the secret Banana Bird caves. To release the imprisoned bird, you must watch the sequence of lights, and then repeat it exactly using the directions on the . It seems like a waste of time to me. Why can't these game developers come up with something more interesting?"
- "Nope, not really!"
- "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would ya??"
Donkey Kong 64
Beginning of adventure
- "Well, if it isn't my lazy, good-for-nothin' son. Lost your golden bananas again? And where might your flea-bitten friends be? You don’t know, do you? I’d have thought you would be able to smell the work of a reptile by now! Luckily for you, old Cranky’s batch of homemade potions will give you all the skills you need for your silly 3-D quest. But you’re not having any until you’ve completed my training barrels. Now buzz off and come back when you’ve done them all." (first meeting)
- "What did I say to you, DK? Come back when you’ve completed my training barrels, you dumb ape!" (incomplete training)
- "Hrmph, you took your time Donkey. Jungle rust set in. Did it? Drink this." (complete)
- "I’ve perfected another of my potions, Donkey/Diddy/Lanky/Tiny/Chunky, and it’s yours for just 3/5/7 coins. You won't get much further without it, so I suggest you pay up." (new potion)
- ""I’ve perfected another potion, but it stays right here until I get 3/5/7 coins for it. What’s wrong, Kong, You got holes in your pockets?" (no enough coins)
- "Pah! I thought as much. Old Cranky's got your next potion ready, but you haven't even got the measly (3/5/7) coins I need. Go and get me some more, you deadbeat!" (no enough coins)
- "Hmmph! You'll be back soon, begging me for that potion. Get out of my cabin before I kick your ungrateful butt." (no enough coins)
- "I'm not letting you have another potion yet. Come see me in the next level." (leaving)
- "That's all the potions you're getting from me, Kong. Now scram and leave me in peace!" (complete)
- "You'll have to do better than that, Donkey/Diddy/Lanky/Tiny/Chunky! Back in my day I would have knocked that big old wingbag out cold in the first round. Now get back in that ring, Donkey/Diddy/Lanky/Tiny/Chunky, and show him what you're made of!! Dazzle K. Rool with a bit of the old Cranky magic - like this..." (when a Kong lose the final battle)
- "Pah! I knew you'd be hopeless at a real game! Try again, Kong" (incomplete)
- "W-what! You got my Rareware Coin? That's impossible. You must have cheated. Hrmph. All you can do now is play for fun, I suppose. Interested?" (complete)
- "Back again, Kong? How about another go on my Jetpac game, huh?" (entering in lab)
- "Right, you and your missing buddies will be able to slam the ground by pressing A Button to jump and then Z Button whilst in the air. It should get you out of this area. Oh. One more thing. I’ve got a real treat for you, but only if you bring me 15 banana medals. I think they look like this: (picture of banana medal). I’ll see you later if you’re lucky." (Simian Slam)
- "Are you listening to me, Donkey/Diddy/Lanky/Tiny/Chunky? You and the rest of the mangy kongs can now slam the blue switches." (Super Simian Slam)
- "Took your time getting this one, didn't you, Donkey/Diddy/Lanky/Tiny/Chunky? You and the other flea-ridden kongs can now slam the red switches." (Super Duper Simian Slam)
- "You can now play the barrel blast courses. Find my pad with your ugly mug on it and press Z Button to launch yourself on your way. When you are in a barrel, press Z Button to fire yourself out!" (Baboon Blast)
- "Listen up, DK. Jump into my barrel with your furry face on it and you'll become temporarily invincible, depending on how long your Crystal Coconuts last." (Strong Kong)
- "Let's see if you're as strong as you are supposed to be. when you find a lever, stand on the footplate and press B Button to try and pull it. I bet you can't!" (Gorilla Grab)
- "You’ve now got a powerful shoulder barge. Just press and hold Z Button then press B Button. It’s too good for you, Diddy." (Chimpy Charge)
- "Mmm...I don't know whether you deserve this gem. Oh, all right. jump into my barrel with your face on it to try out my prototype jetbarrel. Take to the air if you can, but keep an eye on your Crystal Coconuts, as I'm afraid it's a bit thirsty. Press A Button to thrust, Z Button if you want to hover, and B Button to fire your popguns. Amazing, huh?" (Rocketbarrel Boost)
- "Even I could jump higher than you, Diddy, so I’m sure you’ll be needing this one. Find my with your face on it and press Z Button to leap high into the air!" (Simian Spring)
- "This handy little move should help you get up steep slopes. It's easy enough even for you, Lanky – Just press and hold Z Button then press B Button. Keep B Button pressed to keep the handstand going." (OrangStand)
- "You'll have a swell time with this one, Lanky. Float around in the air for a while by finding my pad with your face on it and pressing Z Button to inflate. Press Z Button again if you want to deflate. I really can't see this being used for much, though." (Baboon Balloon)
- "I can run faster than you, Lanky, even while carrying K. Rool on my back! That's why this potion is a must. Jump into my barrel with your face on it, and you'll emerge like greased lightning. Just make sure you've got plenty of Crystal Coconuts!" (OrangSprint)
- "You can now use my special barrel with your face on it. Leap into one and prepare to be amazed as you change size! You'll only be able to remain like this while your supply of Crystal Coconuts lasts, though." (Mini-Monkey)
- "Time to do something with that silly hair of yours, Tiny, and use it to extend your feeble jumping skills. Press A Button to jump and then press and hold A Button again while in the air. Go on, give it a twirl!" (Pony Tail Twirl)
- "I'm really proud of this one, Tiny. If you stand on my pad with your face on it and press Z Button you'll be teleported to another location!" (Monkeyport)
- "You can now use my special barrel with your face on it. Leap into one and prepare to be amazed as you change size! You'll only be able to remain like this while your supply of Crystal Coconuts lasts, though." (Hunky Chunky)
- "All you understand is brute force, Chunky, so this should be perfect for you. Press and hold Z Button then press B Button to smash anything that takes your fancy!" (Primate Punch)
- "Do us a favor and use this one as often as possible, huh, Chunky? Stand on my pad with your face on it and press Z Button to turn invisible. Then we don't have to look at your ugly features!" (Gorilla Gone)
DK: King of Swing
- "Tomorrow's the day we finally hold that competition! Whoever gets the most medals will be the jungle hero!"
- "Now, these medals are important, so don't let anybody steal 'em! I'll just keep them in here for safe storage..."
- "O-O-O-Ohhh nooooo!! Now we can't hold our tournament! We have to get those medals back from King K. Rool!"
- "What's the matter? What's that, you say? You don't know what to do? Don't you worry at all! The controls are simple. Just use and . Here, your ol' Cranky'll show you the most basic move: how to walk around! When you've got the hand of that, come see me and press . Once you've done all that, I'll show you a new move! Here's how you walk! : Move Left, : Move Right" (walk)
- "You ready to move on? Next, I'll show you how to jump from the ground. Press and release and at the same time." (jump)
- "Now, on to how you grab those floating pegs. You let Wrinkly show you what do do. Watch closely! This is the way to grab the floating pegs! : Use Left Hand, : Use Right Hand." (grab)
- "The key is to alternate between and perfectly."
- "Ready to move on? Because it's time you learned how to climb Peg Boards! This is going to be a lot more important than you might think!" (climb)
- "Next we'll look at midair movement! Once you master this, you'll be able to move very far through the air. This is how you move in midair. Midair Movement: : Move Left, : Move Right." (midair)
- "You ready to move on? Next, I'm going to show the basic of attack! Once you've mastered this fighting move, you can bust barrels and attack enemies! Here's how you attack! Press and hold and . When you flash, let go of them at the same time." (attack)
- "So, about all the bananas you've collected so far... If your life decreases, press . Ten bananas will restore on life! Go ahead! Give it a try!" (life)
- "Oh, and one more thing! If your press , your jump and attack will get pepped up a bit! Not only that, but you won't take any damage! It's called Going Bananas! For 20 bananas, you can use this skill for a limited time. I'll be waiting up top. You can get up there yourselt by Going Bananas." (invincibility)
- "I guess you're ready to learn the next move now!"
- "You can also move using. Just pick the method that suits you. Well, it look like you got the hang of that quickly!"
- "Of course, you can also use if you like."
- "This next thing I'm going to teach you is very important, so pay attention!"
- "Well, it look like you got the hang of that quickly!"
- "Oh, and I almost forgot... There are other items besides bananas, like Crystal Coconuts! You might even get something good for collecting 'em! It looks like you've learned everything I can teach you! If you forget how to use the controls, just go to Extras, and I'll relearn ya! So... I'm counting on you to take back the medals that awful King K. Rool stole! Whether or not we get to have a competition depends on how well you do!"
DK: Jungle Climber
- "What's that?! All that playing worked up an appetite? You're as hungry as a horse, aren't you! You problem is... ... Shoot. now I'm hungry, too. Can't remember what I was gonna say..."
- "You don't say!"
- "Well, I'll br! Look at the color of that specimen! Looks mighty tasty! OK, DK! You get up there and go get that banana!"
- "Get a move on, Donkey Kong! Oh, wait a second here... How 'bout we check the controls before we start? You can press to skip my speil if you already know what to do. But if you don't, you'd what listen closely to what I have to say! This game uses different controls than you might be used to, you see. Now, don't fret! Different doesn't mean difficult! I'll teach you everything. Watch the top screen!
Press left and right to walk on the ground. Oh, you can aldo walk with and . Use whichever way is easier for you. Next up, let's talk about jumping. Press both and and release them at the same time to jump. Pressing to attack lets you jump from the ground. While you you're spinning, you can smash barrels and bash enemies Practice both kind of jumps, because believe me, you'll need 'em! I scattered some bananas around here. Grab 'em all, and head for the exit. I'll teach you the next action when you're done." (1st lesson)
- "Almost too easy, eh? That's why I set up a little game for you! That's right! The best way to get the hang of the controls is to play!" (2nd lesson)
- "Next, let me tell you about pegs. Climbing pegs'll help you reach high places. But first, you have to know how to grab the pegs. But first, you have to know how to grab the pegs. You know the drill... Watch the top screen!
=Grab Left =Grab Right. Nothing too complicated about that, is there? Now, let's play a game!" (3rd lesson)
- "Let's go back to grabbing the pegs for a moment. We'll go over this nice and slow. First, we'll cover grabbing right. Watch the top screen, OK?
See those bumps up there? Those are pegs. Jump, then press and hold when you right hand is over a peg. Once you grab a peg, you'll spin around it as long as you're holding . When you release , you'll jump in the direction you're facing. As you'd expect, the left side work the same way. Just press to grab left. Since you're still learning, a dotted line will show you where you're going. Now practice grabbing pegs until you can do it with both hands." (4th lesson)
- "Heh heh! Got the hang of it yet? Those moves are just the basics! So, let me tell you how you can move around the pegs with ease.
It's a piece of cake once you learn how to stop spinning! To stop spinning, all you gotta do is grab two pegs. Pay attention to the top screen.
First, jump up and grab two pegs. Release to spin, then grab another peg to stop. Next, release to spin the other way. Grab another peg to stop. Release one side and then the next. Repeat this to move around the pegs. The key to good climbing is stopping where and when you want. Now, let's practice on the big pegs." (5th lesson)
- "Now it's time to test what you learned in a climbing race! Let's see if you can beat Diddy." (6th lesson)
- "Next, I'm going to teach you how to attack from pegs. This is a very important technique, so listen up! Take a gander at the top screen!
To attack from a peg, press while you're holding on to the peg. Remember, you can't grab pegs while you're spinning from your attack. If you hand down or while you're falling, you'll grab one automatically. Easy as banana cream pie! Let's give it a try!" (7th lesson)
- "I've saved the best secret for last. The gems on this island hold a magical power. Collect 100 gems, and a Crystal Star will appear on the Touch Screen. Why you can become invincible and soar like a big, hairy bird!
Just keep trying it here until you get the hang of it... " (8th lesson)
- "Right, let's put together everything I've taught you so far... You should be able to make your way from peg to peg with ease." (last lesson)
- "Well, that about does it. I've taught you everything I know. Oh, and about the bananas that you've collected... You get a 1-Up when you collect 100 of them! The more bananas you collect, the more 1-Ups you will get!
Listen, if you ever need a refresher, check out Extras in Select a Mode. Choose Lectures to review the lectures I've give you. Well, we better get going soon" (complete)
Sun Sun Beach
- "Have you seen any Banana Coins yet?
There are tons of Bananas Coins on this island... I can feel it in my bones. Cast your peepers tipside!
That's a Banana Coin up there. Collect a bunch (heh heh), and you might just get yourself a nice surprise!" (Banana Coins)
- "Do you ever wish you could see just a little more of where you were going? Well you're in luck! All you have to do is press up or down on ! If you're on the ground or holding on to a peg, you'll take a look around."
- "Do you know about oil barrels yet?
Look at the top screen!
Collect all the barrels on this island and press on the map screen. Funky Kong'll fly you to Little Sun Sun Island on his plane! Some island have more barrels than others, just so you know. Oh, and there should be about 4 barrels here on Sun Sun Island." (Oil Barrels)
- "Do you know much about DK Coins?
Take a look at the top screen, why don't you?
What you see up there is a DK Coin. When you collect them, you'll earn cheats in the Extras menu. Using cheats lets you power up all kind of stuff." (DK Coins)
- "Did you know that you could grab that giant flower, too?
Listen. Once you grab the flower with both hands, never let it go!" (Giant Flower)
Cool Cool Cave
- "It's time you learned some more advanced techniques, kid! It's the Diddy Attack! You see, you can launch Diddy at far-off targets and smash enemies and barrels that you can't reach on you own! Look at the top screen.
It's easy... Just press and then press it again as you're attacking. You can hul Diddy at far-off enemies and pound nearby baddies. Give it try! Smash those barrels up there and move on!" (Diddy Attack)
- "Did you know that you can move sideways in the air?
Pay attention, because this is a very important move. Watch the top screen.
In the air, press to move to the left and to move to the right. The distance yo fly depends on how long you hold down and . You can alse press left or right to do this. Use midair moves to control where you fall... Plus, you can use them to extend you jumps between pegs, too."
- "You can control where Spinner Barrel blast you. Change the direction with and . Then press to blast out of there! You can also press left or right to change where you're aiming. When you blast out of a Spinner Barrel, it's just like you're attacking. You can blast right through enemies! Easy, eh? Now, give it a try!" (Rotatable Barrel)
- "Those no-good thugs! I'm sure they're up to no good, as usual!
What's that swirly business up there? It sucked them in and just vanished... Hmm... Here we are at the top of the mountain. Where's the giant banana?"
- "What in tarnation is going on?! That monstruous banana is attacking us! This is no good! In fact, it's very bad! Augh! I don't care what you do! Just shoot that crazy thing down!"
- "So, you're saying you mistook us for Kremlings and attacked us? Thoses darn reptiles! What have they done this time?"
- "Hmm... I know it was a mistake, but we DID destroy your spaceship... All righty! We must help each other out in time of need! Ww'll get that Crystal Banana back for you!"
- "You see that hammer? Well, you can't use it. Nope. Only Diddy can. The hammer can smash clean through things you can't break on your own. But there's one thing you need to remember. Diddy can hold on to the hammer for only a little while... Oh, and you can't use attacks while it's spinning." (hammer)
Road to Ruins
- "See those wings up there? You can use them with Diddy Kong. They're easy to use, you'll be flying like a bird in no time!
=Flap left wing =Flap right wing Piece of cake, right? But don't forget you can't fly forever. When the wings turn red, you don't have much time left in the air. One more thing... You can't attack while you're flying." (wings)
- "Did you know that you can pick up stones and throw them?
Oh, you didn't? Well, better learn how now. Take a peek how now. Take a peek at the top screen.
Spin around a peg, then hold to grab a stone. Release to throw it. Pick up a stone with , then throw it at the right time. Should you encounter spiny enemies or barrels that Diddy can't break, pick up a stone and give it a good throw!" (stone)
- "Brr! It's rather chilly here in the ruins. eh? I'm shivering like a clunky old car! Anyway, about the bananas that Diddy can't reach on the top screen, use the Diddy Attack to launch him, then walk him to where he should go. Diddy will follow your move, so just head in the direction of the bananas. You can also have him fetch a hammer and wings. But if he leaves the screen, he'll come right back to you. So watch it."
- "This is where your sinister plan ends!"
- "Great job, you two!"
- "The world's safer place now that this is out of their hands. Let's hurry and go after them!"
- "What's with all this fog? I can't see the beard on my face! Good thing you've got a map you can check on the Touch Screen... Diddy's gotta hold the map for you, so you can't attack white you're here. Press both and them release them together to jump from the ground. Don't forget that!"
- "Boy, everwhere you look, it's ghosts, ghosts, and more ghosts... Listen up because you'll want to know how to fend'em off. Jeepers creepers, better cast yer peepers on the top screen!
All you have to do is stop moving and stay totally motionless. If you stay still, the ghosts turn transparent, and they can't hust you. When you're walking, just stop where you are. When you're on peg, grab on with both hands and freeze! Remember, when you're in danger, just stay calm and stay still." (ghosts)
- "What do you even want that thing for? It's not like you can eat it!"
- "Well done!"
- "Well, that sure did give me a fright... But there's no time to lose! We've gotta hurry up and go after them"
Glass Labyrinth 2
- "Brrr! A blizzard! And the snow is as hard as ice! It may look scary, but the torch is your best friend here.
You can use it as long as you've got Diddy around... You should be able to clear out blocked paths with the torch. But just like the other items, it won't last forever! Oh, and one more thing! You can't attack while you're using it!" (Torch)
- "What in tarnation!?"
- "That repulsive reptile's wriggling away again! But how are we supposed to stop something like that?"
- "Huh... Well, it's worth a try! Let's get a move on!"
Space A Go-Go
- "Don't give up just yet! I brought a spare Booster Barrel for just such an occasion! You oughta be able to catch up to ol' King Scaleface now... Now, hop in and catch that crook!"
King Kruiser IV
- "You've reached the end of the line! Surrender, King K. Rool!"
- "Son of a gun! I didn't think of that! Let's catch him!"
- "Aha! That would explain the delicious banana smell... But that means... King K. Rool has made it to the banana planet!
He must be around here somewhere... Let's go!"
- "Donkey Kong! Grab him!"
- "Great job, DK!"
- "Whew... At last, we can get back to our tropical vacation! That adventure was too much for these old bones!"
Donkey Kong Country Returns
Entering his shop
- "Gimme some of those Banana Coins. I have bills to pay."
- "Back for more, are you? I knew you couldn't make it without my help."
- "Well, you've amazed your old grandpa by getting this far."
- "Can you believe the shack they stuck me in?!"
- "Blood may be thicker than water, but Banana Coins are thicker still. Get in here."
- "Who is that pig, anyway? And why's he wearing glasses?"
- "Let me know if you find the Golden Banana! I hear it's glorious!"
- "Shut the door! You're letting all the cold air."
- "Betcha won't get much further than this..."
- "What do you want, eh? I'm a busy ape, I am!"
- ""Oh, Cranky, I need some help. Oh, Cranky, can you sell me a parrot?" Pshh."
- "Hurry up and buy something. I have plans for those coins."
- "Come on in! I got heart boosts, magic potions, and more balloons than you can shake Diddy at!"
- "They stopped paying my pension ages ago. Now I'm reduced to selling junk out of this old shack."
- "So, who hasn't stolen your bananas at this point?"
- "Have you tried Roll Jumping yet? We apes have no need for the laws of physics!"
- "Tell those Tikis to keep it down! I'm an old ape, and I need my rest."
- "If you want to free the island from those stinking Tikis, you'll need my help. Get in here!"
- "Sorry, but I am fresh out of life vests." (Beach)
- "Wow, you made it all the way to the ruins. I'd pat you on the head if I wasn't so cranky." (Ruins)
- "I've been trying to figure out just what they mine in those mines, but I've got nothing." (Cave)
- "Close the door! I don't want any of those spiders getting in here." (Forest)
- "Some say it's fun to play in the tar pits, of course, those folks are all fossils now..." (Cliff)
- "I love this place. Brings back the memories, it does." (Entering his shop in the Factory)
- "It's a bittersweet feeling to reach the end of such an adventure, don't you agree?" (Volcano)
- "You wouldn't have any water on you, would you, sonny? Hoo boy." (Volcano)
- "One extra balloon equals one extra reprieve from failure." (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "Just one of these balloons is enough to hold the weight of an entire ape!" (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "Where does an ape get helium for all these balloons? I will never tell!" (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "All the balloons you buy from me are going to pop eventually, just you wait!" (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "How about an extra balloon for you? Don't say you couldn't use it." (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "Where does an ape keep all these balloons, anyway?" (3 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "Three is a crowd! I make do with one...me!" (3 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "These ought to help with some of those tough spots." (3 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "If you could bop indefinitely, you wouldn't have to buy these from me." (7 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "Come on, sonny, these are friend prices!" (7 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "I blew up all these balloons myself, you know." (7 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "If you're having trouble finding secrets, Squawks is your man! Err...bird!" (Squawks)
- "Not only does he keep me company, he reminds me where I left my keys!" (Squawks)
- "Of course, I would have no need for this little guy, but you aren't me, are you?" (Squawks)
- "Go ahead and buy it. You need all the help you can get, sonny." (Heart Boost)
- "You buy one of these, and you can withstand one more hit than usual." (Heart Boost)
- "You gonna stare all day, or are you gonna throw down some coin?" (Heart Boost)
- "You've got a lot of heart...but heart does not equal skill." (Heart Boost)
- "Back in my day, I could get through the island without getting hit even once!" (Heart Boost)
- "Drink a little of this, and enemies won't be able to hurt you." (Banana Juice)
- "You better hope the Tikis don't get their mitts on this stuff." (Banana Juice)
- "This stuff only lasts a little while. Take too many hits and it's gone!" (Banana Juice)
- "One drink of this juice, and you'll be unstoppable!" (Banana Juice)
- "Don't waste it!" (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "I give this balloon 30 seconds before it pops." (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "You'll need every balloon you can get if you want to finish this quest." (Extra-Life Balloon)
- "Excellent choice!" (Extra Life Balloon)
- "Guess I'll get back to inflatin'." (3 or a 7 Extra Life Balloon)
- "Careful you don't float away with all these balloons!" (3 or 7 Extra-Life Balloon)
- "You already have too many of these, you greedy ape!" (Trying to buy an Extra-Life Balloon when the player has 99 of them)
- "Keep him safe, you hear?!" (Buying Squawks)
- "Squawks will speak up when he finds secrets...for a friend." (Squawks)
- "Okay, sonny, but don't say I didn't ridicule you.." (Heart Boost)
- "And I thought two hearts was too easy! Now you want a third?" (Heart Boost)
- "Remember, take too many hits and it's gone!" (Banana Juice)
- "Wow, way to fight fair, Donkey Kong." (Banana Juice)
- "What, you need a key to bust through some flimsy lock?" (Map Key)
- "You already bought this key, sonny!" (Trying to buy the already bought Map Key)
Not enough coins
- "What's the matter? Waste all your coins on video games?"
- "Don't have enough Banana Coins? I wish I could say I was surprised."
- "Aww...Poor little monkey is all out of money."
- "You know where you can find more Banana Coins? Everywhere."
- "Come back when you have some more coins, sonny."
Leaving the shop
- "Come back with fistfuls of Banana Coins or don't come back at all!"
- "See ya later, alligator! Ha! Ha!"
- "When in doubt, pound! Or jump, or blow, or whatever, I'm sure you'll figure it out."
- "Make sure to shut the gate on your way out. I didn't raise you in a barn!"
- "Keep your eyes open for those Kong Letters, they might be worth something!"
- "Good luck, kid. From the looks of you, you're going to need it."
- "If you see that old rhino fella out there, tell him to stop by."
- "Glad I could help my grandson overcome this deadly challenge in exchange for a little cash money."
- "They say there is a banana out there that not only tastes great, but warps you to an alternate dimension. I say, yes please!"
- "Now get out there and give those little drum guys what for. Yes, I said "What for." I'm old. Get over it."
- "It sure looks dangerous out there. See ya!"
- "Can't say I expect to see you again, but you might get lucky, I guess."
- "Good luck out there, kid!"
- "Don't you just love a nice sunset?" (Jungle)
- "Tell that bulbous banana-eating guy he needs to cut down on the nanners! I mean, look at him! He's huge!" (Jungle)
- "Keep an eye out for large marine life. Some of those guys can get...testy." (Beach)
- "Be careful on those aqueducts. I don't think they were built to code." (Ruins)
- "And remember, just because it can't see you doesn't mean it can't hurl a pickaxe right at your head." (Cave)
- "Keep an eye out for some replacement rocking-chair material. This one chafes." (Forest)
- "Stay out of the tar, sonny! Jeez, do I have to teach you everything?" (Cliff)
- "Tip from Gramps! If you see three levels arranged in a very precise pattern, perhaps that's worth looking into." (Factory)
- "And remember! Lava? Less fun than tar." (Volcano)